Day 4
Okay, in my last blog I was getting angry about narcissists in the workplace. Clearly, I have been used by some narcissists in my lifetime. It makes me mad so I want to keep on writing about them.
The feeling that you get from interacting with a narcissist is one of getting sucked in, of being used, something like “I bought into all the hype, I believed in you. And all I was to you was a fan. Just someone who existed in your life to boost your ego.”
Just recently, I have had this experience with such an individual. I really feel used. And it hurts. And this really makes me want to hurt them back.
It is all kind of nasty.
But just why do narcissists have to feel admired? What is it that drives them? Can’t they see that they are just over inflated buffoons? Not really. As Bob Dylan once sang “you never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and clowns and they all did tricks for you.”
What really seems to drive them is “the narcissistic wound”. Believe it or not, this grandiose often larger-than-life looking compliment magnet is really a wounded little child who constantly needs the cheers of others around him to make them feel good about himself. On some level, it seems, they’ve never really lived up to all of their wonderful dreams about themselves. They realize that they’re not quite as wonderful as they would like to be.
And this realization hurts. Not only does it hurt once, it hurts each and every time they fail. And, each and every time they fail, they feel an even greater need to puff themselves up and a desperate desire to “go for the glory” in an even bigger way. Like Charlie Brown trying to kick the elusive football that Lucy is holding, each new life experience is an opportunity to prove themselves wonderful. Except they are not. Their failures hurt them to the very quick, to the heart and soul of who they are, to their pride.
This is “the narcissistic wound”.
And this is also the very reason I won’t strike back.
At least not today.
nlavender
