Never, Ever, Ever Do This With A Narcissistic Boss!
by Dr. Neil Lavender
Narcissists give off a lot of energy. They are exciting to be around. They seem to know what’s going on with everyone, they are very plugged in and people want to share information with them. Even if they aren’t headed towards the top, they appear that way.
One of the problems with narcissists, however, is that they do not respect boundaries. They will use private information against you in the workplace, for example. Things that you say in jest or in confidence; or, more correctly, things that you believe were set in jest or in confidence, will often come back to haunt you.
Because of their vibrancy and energy, you will be tempted to go outside your normal relationship with your narcissistic boss and want to connect with him/her on a more personal basis. You might, for example, want to be their friend or associate with them on a social basis. Perhaps he will invite you out for dinner with your spouse. Or maybe invite you to a membership with her social club. Perhaps even take a vacation with them.
Bear in mind that the narcissist is exploitative. That is one of their main characteristics. They are just using you to get something from you; be it your adoration, unique knowledge, things that you own which they want (including spouses!) or inside information that they can use in the workplace.
We can say from experience that these things will come back to haunt you. So here is some very good advice:
Always stay in your lane when you are working for narcissistic boss. The immediate gains that you get will be at best be temporary and the long-term effects can be devastating. Just relate to them on a professional basis. Don’t let their false promises and invitations lure you in. Do your job well and stay in your lane. Maintain proper boundaries and you will survive the narcissistic boss.
Books about Narcissism:
- Don’t Be Fooled by a Narcissist (psychologytoday.com)
- Narcissists: “Enough About Me: Let’s Talk About Myself” (psychologytoday.com)
- Are You Like Donald Trump? Take the Narcissistic Personality Quiz and Find Out! (bobsutton.typepad.com)